This week my brother-in-law got married in Bangladesh. His new wife is a lovely girl and I couldn’t be happier for the both of them. Before the wedding, I tried to think of something wise or profound to say, having experience with happy marriage myself. Of course I couldn’t come up with anything more unique then ‘Congratulations’. Further pondering has led me to this list of wishes:
I wish for you a lifetime of laughter. I hope you laugh every day, I hope you take particular joy in making your spouse laugh. I hope you prize each other’s individuality. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, some you already know clearly, some you may anticipate, and some will catch you completely off guard. May you celebrate and embrace each other’s strengths and protect each other’s weaknesses. You both have unique life experiences, histories, and backgrounds, you have different opinions, beliefs, and personalities- and that’s wonderful. Don’t ever try to agree all the time or be clones of one another. Being married doesn’t mean you have to share a single brain.
I wish for you a lifetime of patience and understanding. There will be disagreements, heated discussions, and yes, even arguments, and that’s ok- each of you is as important as the other both of your voices should be heard. Life isn’t supposed to be a boring walk through the park or a sale on a placid lake. It’s the jungle that you navigate and the storms that you ride out that prove your strength, both individually and as a couple. Arguing isn’t the end of the world, or the end of a relationship, I wish for you to know that. I wish for you to always fight fair and never try to hurt the other’s feelings. And while we’re on the subject, don’t ever be too proud to say you’re sorry. In fact, be proud of recognizing a wrong and apologizing for it.
I wish for you a lifetime of hugs. Take care of each other and never take the other for granted. Say I love you Every Day. It’s the most important phrase in your vocabulary. Never take it for granted. I wish thousands of date nights and coffee dates. I wish you breakfast in bed and dinner at midnight. I wish for you romance. I wish for you hours of sitting next to each other, enjoying the silent companionship. Even champagne and roses lose its appeal day-after-day. Celebrate the everyday, enjoy the little moments you spend together. I wish you movie nights curled up on the couch and trips to the grocery store. Your entire life is now a celebration of your love, I wish for you to remember that.
I wish for you a lifetime of dreams, whatever they may be, wherever they may take you. I wish you adventure. I wish you stories that you’ll tell again and again, interrupting each other as you retell a shared memory. I wish you quiet smiles and loud laughs. I wish you joy that takes your breath away and love that brings a happy ache to your heart. I wish you a beautifully blessed marriage full of tenderness, excitement, and the proverbial spark. I wish for you, everything my marriage has given to me. As my husband said, go ahead and ‘Write Your Own Story’
With heartfelt congratulations,